A Mother’s Day

I wrote this on my {personal} Facebook page yesterday on Mother’s Day.

Mother’s Day is a brutal holiday for so many. For women going through infertility, for the women experiencing the grief of a miscarriage, for the women waiting for their child through adoption–I know those feelings.
For women whose children are grown and far away (or even in the same city but far away) or for women who haven’t seen their children in years (or ever) or for women whose children have passed away. My goodness, this holiday can be so very hard.
But you don’t have to give birth to be a mama. Nah, in fact that’s the last thing you need to do. This day is for celebrating all the women (& men) in this world who are nurturers. It doesn’t matter if you birthed them, adopted them, placed them for adoption, are their step mama, their teacher, their godmother, their aunt, their friend, or their grandmother–if you have ever loved and nurtured a child (or even if that’s just what your heart longs to do) you are a mother and I hope today you feel like the world is celebrating you. I know I am. Happy Mother’s Day.

I remember Mother’s Day 2008–C. & I had been trying for a little over a year for a baby. Just a few months earlier I had gone from the “Gee, this is taking longer than I thought…” to the “Oh my gosh, there’s gotta be a problem!” (I only have 1/2 of one ovary left due to cancer and have PCOS so we knew I had a problem, but it took a while to sink in just what that meant). That day I found out my sister-in-law was pregnant with my nephew unexpectedly. It was the first time I ever experienced infertility grief–the crazy mix of happiness for someone you love having a baby with the soul-crushing realization that for whatever reason you are not good/healthy/perfect enough to have a baby.

I remember Mother’s Day 2010 grieving a miscarriage and feeling so hurt every time someone said, ‘Well, you can get pregnant again!’ (note to oneself: don’t EVER (ever!) say that to a woman who’s had a miscarriage; I didn’t get pregnant again for five years)

I remember Mother’s Day 2011 waiting, praying, wishing, dreaming about getting chosen by a birth mother. I wondered if I would ever get chosen.

Those three years were the hardest Mother’s Days. Oh, there have been good ones–the first one as a mama, the first one as a mama of two (and we did get chosen!), and so on…but all the good ones don’t make up for those hard years.

So I get that Mother’s Day can hurt–hurt so very bad. And please know that I’m thinking about you if you had one of those days yesterday. Hugs, sweet friend.

As for my Mother’s Day, I think it might just be the best yet. Yes, there was some fussing (what day with three kids would be complete without it?), some rushing (#churchprobs), but I got doughnut holes for breakfast, didn’t have to change a single poop diaper or wipe a single bottom, and Moseby even told me “Happy Mother’s Day” on his own (HUGE Y’ALL!) while MM showered me all day with hugs and Lawson gave me kisses anytime I asked. We spent the afternoon on the boat and it was just an all-around lovely day.

Doughnuts on the stairs

The kids (aka MM) gave me a gift basket. Man, MM knows me WELL. (Uhm, other than I’m 36, but thanks.)

C. & the kids got me an electric blanket because I’m cold 100% of the time and a necklace.

Yes, yesterday was a good day. A great day. My heart is so very full this morning.

3 Responses to A Mother’s Day

  1. Denise Thompson May 15, 2017 at 10:51 am #

    You are so deserving of all of the gifts…you are an awesome Mom!! I so remember struggling with infertility for 6 years…while my best friend( at the time )was popping out babies like a rabbit. I got to the point that I so resented the fact that she could have babies so easy…She ended up with 4 and after the first one, every time she got pregnant, she would send me flowers(her way of telling me that she was pregnant…Oh, the tears I cried each time I received the flowers. I remember praying and asking God for a baby and asking Him for just ONE baby…I would love to have had more but I remember so well saying, “God, why can’t I just have ONE?”…Well, God did answer my prayers when He gave me you!!! You are definitely an answered prayer!!! My heart aches for ANYONE who struggles with infertility…I have treasured every minute of your life and still do AND now I am so blessed with my precious grandchildren. God is so good…I cannot imagine life without YOU!! I love you!

  2. Carla Porterfield May 19, 2017 at 9:06 am #

    Natalie, You nailed it with your post! There are so many hearts that overflow on this type of celebration and so many that continue to hurt over and over again! I think it’s wonderful that you acknowledge the pain as well as the happiness! You have a beautiful soul, thank you for sharing it with so many!

  3. Natalie May 23, 2017 at 9:12 pm #

    you too, girl, you too! love your heart!!

Leave a Reply

Designed by WordPress. Designed and maintained by